Beyond the baby shower

“Motherhood is the same as working 2.5 full-time jobs.”

• 

When I had the opportunity to become a mother, I knew it would be life-changing. What I didn’t know was how hard it would be.

My friends were having baby #2 or #3. I figured…if it was bad, why would they go back for more?

I listened at girls’ night when they described ‘less sleep’ and wrestled with new decisions.

But, never once did anyone mention how motherhood can strip us to our core.

And then.

Allow us to rebuild.

If anyone asked, I’d tell them that there are some things I’ve learned by Being a Mother:

1. Patience is a choice. And, breathing deeply allows me to connect to an abundant well-spring.
2. That my dress size means nothing to my child.
3. To learn and know his thoughts, I must adapt to his timing: shower-time, car-time, and going-to-bed time is when I learn what’s on his mind and heart. (Not when I ask about his day…)
4. Never refuse help. Until I was a mom, I had been able to do it all myself, but that quickly ended with a child.
5. It’s possible to be angry, resentful, joyful, grateful, guilty, worried, overwhelmed, strong, weak, and lonely all at the same time.

I’ve also learned how to connect to my soul.

That’s not a small thing.

Moments of transcendence, of “existence or experience beyond the physical world” have reassured me that in this journey of motherhood, I’m not alone.

I’ve found routines and habits that open me up to these intersection points where earthly reality intersects with the divine. A morning walk, a yoga class, free-form writing, reading a devotional in the parking lot before work, singing praise songs in church, and sitting on the back patio with my parents drinking wine…

Becoming a mother has itself been transcendent.

It’s spiritual work.

I’ve been laid bare.

Empty handed.

Exhausted.

Desperate.

I surrendered.

And, I was was met by the reality that I had to figure it out.

I had to be built back up. By my own will and…

…by the gentle nudge of the Spirit.

One breath.

One move.

One step.

At a time.

Surrender has made me open-hearted.

Exhaustion and desperation have given me permission to be who I am (because I no longer have energy to be who anyone else wants me to be).

Empty-handed has made me willing to take others’ help, opinions, and love.

• 

On this day to honor mothers, don’t wait for kids, husbands or anyone else to celebrate this journey of motherhood.

They can’t possibly understand.

Yes, you deserve recognition.

Yes, you’ve earned a treat.

But, let go of the yearning for appreciation.

Instead, revel in your journey.

Bask in who you’ve become.

Take a moment to breathe.

Ask the universe to pour into you — light and love and strength.

You are a mother, a role model, a love-giver, a translator-of-life, a keeper-of-secrets, and proof-of-abundance.

Let that be enough.

**************************************************************

Some interesting reads about being a working mom in America:

Kids of Working Moms Grow into Happy Adults

Girls with Working Moms Get Better Jobs and Higher Pay

17 Things Working Moms Should Quit Besides Your Job

Why American Moms are Seriously Struggling