A long time coming

Shedding the coat of rushing, hurry and false fillers has brought us home.

For some, it's a home that feels like an unknown land.

And, for others it's a calling.

An open-eyed reckoning of how broken things actually have been.

And, we just didn't notice.

We didn't notice the time unspent with our children.

We thought we were a lot further along in equality only to find out our 'Truth' was not truth afterall, and the truth for so many was one of constant fear, unrecognized, un-honored, and unresolved.

We didn't notice the dreams.

We looked the other way to temporary fixes, told ourselves this was 'just how it was'.

Meanwhile the days ticked on and we lived without consciousness.

We are blessed to have had this chance to see our fragility, our complicity, our choices.

These days, I feel an urgency to step out of the discomfort. Change things.

It's harder and harder to let the words just be.

The feelings just weigh.

The longing just grows.

And, yet, it's been staggering. The beauty.

The love.

The reaching.

To friends I only knew part of.

To parents so far away.

To children who are my strongest teachers.

To spouses with appreciation for being so different than I. Days I can't laugh, he makes me.

To space. To walk, and muse, and appreciate.

To creativity for new solutions to new questions.

To God. With whom I've started to become reacquainted.

The way I figure, this season has been a long time coming.

While I increasingly grow impatient to understand what's next -- I know we're only *just* beginning to grow.

The heavy places are our transition spaces.

If we really want to find wisdom, depth, spiritual connection...this is where we lean in and ask 'show me'. Lean out now and return to the way it was, and we abort the mission too soon. We are just launching to get outside the gravitational field, it's gonna push us a little further, a little more discomfort. But the view when we get there will shift our perspective to something much wider.

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